Scattered Thoughts, Poignant Moments, and Okinawa Adventures

Apologies for the sparse blog updates. The first several weeks here are all very new and high-energy. It feels like a vacation, but then it becomes your life. And anyone who’s lived a life knows that the commitment to keep up a journal/blog is difficult! You’re too busy doing things to write about them. I have been journaling some, too, but since this the public image of my thoughts and feelings, some editing is in order.

A few weeks ago we took a train up to Nikko, which is a small city in the mountains. There are some large famous shrines there, one of which has the original “see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil” monkey carvings. I had no idea they even came from one original place, so that was neat to see. The hotel we stayed at served us a five course American-style meal. Several forks and all that. We ate an obscene amount of dinner rolls. The staff started off refilling the baskets on the table, but we’d each snatch two rolls out of it as soon as they did, so they started serving it right onto our bread plates. I think they got a kick out of it. They were probably taking bets back in the kitchen on how much bread the gaijins (foreigners) would eat.

On the train up to Nikko, I stood in the car with the snack bar for a while because it had a great big window for taking photos out of. At one point, we went racing by a small road crossing. Standing there, waiting for the train to pass, were (I’m assuming) a father and daughter. The girl was probably about five years old. She was wearing a dark sweater with bold white lettering. I wish there were a word for what I felt upon seeing her.

Everything in that moment seemed poignant and serendipitous. That scene: the sweet train attendants behind me, the bright window, the green farms and small villages racing by, all of Japan around me, the past months in my memory, and now this girl and her father, in my vision for seconds. The scene is branded brightly into my brain. And what makes it even more piquant is that that little girl has no idea I exist. She knows there are seven billion people in the world, just like I do, but in seeing her, I didn’t just see a person. I saw someone. I will remember that little girl long after she is done being a little girl. I don’t know her name, I don’t know what she was doing there or where she was going. She could become a famous Japanese actress one day, and I will see her in a movie, and I will have no idea. I wish there were a word for that feeling. I've had it often here. 

A few days ago I had my last day of working at the Japanese preschool for an internship. I really didn’t think I’d make it through seven sessions of playing with kids I can’t even speak to. Now I feel like hanging out with American kids would be absolute cake. I can talk to them! They can talk to me! I can understand them! My favorite thing to do with the Japanese preschoolers is color with them. They all scramble to have me draw them cats and dogs and bunnies and flowers and write their names in bubble hiragana letters. They crawl in your lap and want to touch your eyelashes. I also got paid $60, in addition to the $80 I was paid a few weeks ago. Yay for cash money.

There is one girl at the preschool who is probably the cutest little girl I’ve ever seen. She has captivating eyes. I’d follow those eyes to the ends of the earth. When we first started working there, she was distant and shy, but now she plays with the other kids. It’s startling to see her progress because it makes me realize how long we’ve been here. I don’t even know her name either. I almost teared up today when I realized I’ll never see her again.

One time when I went there, I was drawing pictures of Hello Kitty for a couple girls. I doodled a star, a moon, and a sun, and one of the girls said she wanted those on her picture of Hello Kitty. I oblige, and then her friend wants some, too, naturally. But when she pointed at them, she used her pencil and drew a line across the doodles. As soon as it happened I thought, “uh oh,” and I was right. The first girl’s face crumpled and she started wailing. I quickly found an eraser and soon there was no trace of the faint line, but of course, that didn’t matter. Soon the girl’s friend began crying, too, saying “gomennn, gomennnn” [I’m sorry, I’m sorry]. My fellow workers/study abroad mates started looking at me, and, trying not to laugh, I said, “It wasn’t me.” One of the teachers came by a minute later and started to sort it out. In general, it seems to me that Japanese kids cry more than American ones…but then again, I haven’t been around American kids a lot.

This past weekend I was lucky enough to travel to Okinawa for a weekend (Thanks, Mom and Dad!!!!) with Ian. I've never had a trip like it. First of all, I packed the morning of, which wasn't as stressful as I thought it would be, since it was only a few days after all, and we were traveling with just our backpacks. Though they can quickly get heavy, it gives you a weird rush of freedom to have everything you need (for a few days at least) on your back. Material possessions are nice, but they can easily tie you down. To make our flight on time, we had to run out of our last class of the day (at 12:20--our flight left at 2:45), run through our train stations, and take the express Skyliner train (which only takes 36 minutes!) to Narita airport. We got to the gate with time to spare (yay, checking in online!) but I much prefer getting to the airport obscenely early! I get that from my dad, I know.

Airport security is definitely different for domestic Japanese flights. To enter the airport itself we simply showed our passport to an employee. "Is that a passport? Yup. That's a passport, go ahead." And when going through actual security, you don't even have to take off your shoes! They even let me keep my water bottle. The man asked "Can I check your water bottle?" and then used a spectrometer (that's what Ian said it was at least) to check it for chemicals. Can you imagine the TSA politely asking you if they could check your bag? Ha!

Our flight went smoothly, as did our directions from our hostel to take the monorail from the airport, but when we got off at the designated monorail station, we found ourselves at a five way intersection with no street signs. After fruitlessly wandering, we decided to get dinner. We picked a random restaurant, and it ended up being delicious. For 200-500 yen ($2-5) you got two little kebabs of meat or quail eggs or other fun things. We got the "chefs platter" of ten kebabs of various mysterious things. It was all delicious, including our bloody marys on the side. We also shared a bottle of awamori--Okinawan sake. 

By the time we left to search for our hostel again...let's just say we each didn't mind the cold so much! We soon realized we were not going to find this hostel and got a taxi, which took us in a completely different directions, confirming our suspicions. Like lots of places outside of the U.S., addresses are not helpful at all, so the taxi just took us to the correct street, and we started asking little shops where it was. The third place we stopped in, the man said, "This is it."

He gave us a little tour. This place is so hard to describe in words. I will try to get pictures on Facebook as soon as possible. The bottom floor used to be a restaurant but now it's closed, plus they're remodeling, plus it's off-season, so there was stuff in piles everywhere: appliances, a drum set, shelving, extension cords, old CD players, along with cozy corners of chairs and tables and little lofts you could sit up in as well. By the kitchen there was self-serve breakfast of rice, miso soup, nori (seaweed, which I passed on), and egg for 200 yen. (I love rice with raw egg now!) On the second floor was the men's shared room, a few private rooms, and the tatami (woven mats) shared area that had a couple computers (they also had fast, free wifi), guitars to play, manga to read, some movies, and a nice TV. On the third floor was the women's shared room, and a few more private rooms, including ours. Our room had a little couch, a desk, and very comfortable bunk beds! That first night we went wandering around with a couple of other guys in the hostel who were both visiting from Taiwan--though one was from Slovakia and one was from Germany!

The next day was our beach day. After navigating various forms of transportation, we ended up at a beach slightly south of Naha, the city of Okinawa. There was almost no one else on the beach (off season), plus we later discovered the reason a man came down to tell us we couldn't swim was because it was jellyfish season! We went in the water a little anyway--oops! It was mostly great to be by the ocean, look for shells and coral, and just enjoy the peace that comes from being by the water. Planes often flew overhead, really low, heading into Naha airport. After several hours, we had an early dinner at a restaurant on the beach. They had chandeliers, but were playing American rap music, and Ian and I both got hamburgers. What a unique moment that was.

That night we met up with some CSB/SJU alums who were living there teaching English, and they took us out to dinner and the bars. We went to a really fun bar where you could request songs, and they played the music videos on big screens and people danced. We had a blast. The next day we went to Shuri Castle, an old castle from when Okinawa was its own kingdom. Ian and I each ended up buying shisa. 

Traditionally, they are two statues placed on either side of an entrance. The statue with an open mouth scares away bad spirits, and the statue with a closed mouth keeps good spirits in. I believe they originated in Okinawa, or at least Okinawa is famous for them, so they were a good souvenir. 

On our last day we found a park by the ocean and sat, reading and napping. Okinawa has such a different feel from the rest of Japan. "Island culture," I guess you call it. Things feel slower. The people aren't as high fashion. A lot of the buildings are old, and no one bothers to repaint or repair them. It felt a bit like Hawaii, I thought, or like Mexico, Ian said. Like a place out of the sixties sometimes. But in the end, it really only feels like Okinawa. It's fascinating to discover that each place in the world has its own unique feel--a combination of the buildings, the pace, the people, the food--that you can only grasp by visiting and exploring it. It makes me want to travel to all the places I can.

I've only got 16 days left here. Time flies.

Homestay Weekend!

This past weekend I got to do my homestay with Erina! I was nervous but also looking forward to a different atmosphere. Plus Erina speaks English very well, so that made me less worried about communication problems. On Friday after class we rode the subway/train, then walked about fifteen minutes to the station to get to her house. She lives about 30-45 minutes from campus, in Saitama, which is technically different from Tokyo (though it all blends together into this big metropolis). She called it the “countryside,” which was funny to me because I think of countryside as sparse houses, lots of farms and woods. This was a city: roads and buildings and cars and a mall. But it is definitely different from central Tokyo.

When we got to her house, her mom (Mami) wasn’t home from work yet, but I got to meet her dog, Lick! He was really sweet and liked me. When he tries to eat her food, Erina will yell “taberuyo!” at him which means “I will eat you!” So that’s a Japanese phrase I learned over the weekend! The low Japanese table is right at his level, so I’m sure the food is tempting! For dinner we had cold noodles (with melon ice cream for dessert!) and then watched some TV until Mami came home. She is such a sweet lady. She kept telling me I was cute and had nice skin. They asked me lots of questions about myself, MN, my family, etc. Mami spoke English 20 years ago for her job as a travel agent, so she still knows a little bit. Along with Erina translating, we all communicated well.

After dinner and talking Erina and I went to the new Miyazaki movie, Kaze Tachinu (The Wind Rises). It didn’t have subtitles, but I still really enjoyed it and I understood overall what was happening. We both got a drink and shared a popcorn, and they have these cool trays with a spot for both drinks, the popcorn, and candy that connects into a single cupholder, so you don’t have to hold any of your snacks! It was really ingenious. That night I got to take a bath, which is much cooler than our simple American baths. The bath is a separate little room with a big tub and a showerhead over the floor next to the tub. You take a shower first (you can’t tell the floor is slanted, but it does drain), and then you get in the nice warm tub and just relax for a while. It was much needed. I got to sleep in Erina’s older sister Marina’s room since she’s in Australia right now. It was nice having a room to myself, though it made me miss my room at home and my bed…

On Saturday we went to Laketown Mall—the biggest mall in Japan! It was about an hour drive to get there, so we talked more on the way there. I’m glad I got to ride in a car in Japan because I probably won’t get to again after this. At the mall I bought a sweater, some earrings, a mechanical pencil that looks like a regular pencil, and some gifts. For dinner we went out for shabu-shabu. It is now my favorite Japanese food! In the middle of the table is a flat stove-burner basically. You put a metal pot of broth on it (ours was split in half for two different types) and it heats up. You can pick vegetables from a buffet and they also bring you plates on plates of thinly sliced beef and pork. You put the meat and veggies in the “hot pot,” and they cook really fast and are delicious! Once you take them out, you can dip them in another sauce or the meat is really good dipped in raw egg. Yummmm. I also had some tasty plum wine. And Erina used to work at the restaurant, so the waiter brought us some free dumplings to cook in the hot pot!

On Sunday Erina and I went to an area called Kawagoe, which has a lot of traditional architecture and old sites, like shrines, a famous bell tower, and part of a castle. We walked around, went into shops, and ate lunch. For lunch I had shrimp and tried some of Erina’s dish: duck sashimi with green onions. It was delicious! I am going to miss the food here for sure. Then we went to a street with lots of candy/sweets shops, and I bought a bunch of cheap Japanese candy. Sunday evening we went to an onsen (hot springs)/spa. At the spa they have what’s called “stone-bathing.” You go into a room that’s about 130°F and lay your thick towel down on the floor, which is a bed of small, warm stones. Ten minutes lying on your stomach and ten on your back. You start dripping with sweat, but it actually feels nice. Then you go out and you can relax for a bit. You can also go into a room that’s about 40°F to cool down. You repeat the process twice more, in rooms that have solid stone floor and are slightly less hot.

The final room has a bunch of people sitting around a big cage of rocks, like in a sauna. They had digital thermometers outside all the rooms, but they were in Celcius, so I didn’t know what the actual temperatures were until I looked them up later—which was probably good because I would have been scared to go in! The last room was 67°C, or about 150°F. At certain times, two staff members come in and pour water on the rocks. Then they swirl towels above their heads to start up this wind, and it gets so hot you almost can’t breathe! We only stayed for a couple minutes, but it was really cool.

Next we went to the actual baths. Just like a bath in a Japanese house, you shower first. I had to be careful to be discreet about my tattoo because they’re not very accepted in Japan. They’re generally associated with gangs, but it was all okay. They had lots of different baths: Jacuzzis, regular hot baths, a cold bath, baths both inside and outside… In one of the hot baths, they had these little nooks that had electricity going through the water (crazy right?). I stuck my hand in one, and it didn’t hurt, but it didn’t feel nice either. It felt a lot like pins and needles—really prickly. I kind of wanted to sit in one, just to see what it was like, but I was too scared. They also had a “salt sauna”: a little sauna where there’s salt you can use to exfoliate. Overall it was such a nice, relaxing experience. We’d never have something like that in the U.S., with a bunch of strangers naked together!

That night Erina and I watched Tangled and stayed up late. The next day I rode the train back to the university with her because she had class. Mami drove us to the station and it was really hard to say goodbye. She had been so kind to me, and I might never see her again. But I know I will always remember them and this weekend. And now I want to host a homestay for a Japanese student in the U.S., which is really cool because that’s why Erina wanted to host a homestay: she stayed with a family in Minnesota for a weekend. The chain keeps on going. 

I will try to do a photo update as well within the next few days!

Big Update #2

Today marks one month of being in Japan. It has been the fastest month of my entire life! I’ve realized that through this month I’ve been waiting for something, waiting to settle in, for “normal life” to start, when really, I was living my life. This is my life. This is real. I love it here.

Most of my posts, including this one, are going to jump around a bit because there is so much to say, so forgive the sporadic subjects of my paragraphs.

Our classes are very different from American classes. Except for Japanese (more on that in a bit), we have each class only once a week, so we don’t have very much actual class time, but it makes keeping track of homework and projects tricky. Our classes are Japanese, Japan and the International Community, Japanese Business, Japanese Literature and Performing Arts, Social Development in Japan, Shinto and Buddhism, Life in Japan, and Dave’s Study Abroad Seminar. The professors mostly just lecture—which is difficult to deal with at times. Additionally, while they have good English, the cadence of their voices is different and less engaging. (But don’t worry, Mom and Dad, I’m being a good student!)

Right now I’m working on a project for my International Community class. We have to pick any sort of topic we’ve discussed and do a short presentation and a 2-3 page essay on it. I chose to research the 17 Japanese citizens who were abducted by North Korea in the 1970s and 80s. It interests me, which makes writing about it much more enjoyable.

As far as Japanese class goes, it’s both a good and bad thing that we have it every day (except Mondays—no class at all on Mondays). The grammar is very challenging, and I realized one day that, unlike Spanish (the only other language I’ve learned some of), Japanese is not a romance language. Its origins are completely different from English, so you can’t easily say “this word here means this.” But learning it has been very rewarding. Here are some phrases I know!

Kinoo, nani o tabemashita ka? What did you eat yesterday?

America no Minnesota kara kimashita. I am from Minnesota, in America.

Tanjobi wa? Jyuuichigatsu tsuitachi desu. When is your birthday? My birthday is November 1.

Sushi o tabe ni ikimasenka? Why don’t we go out for sushi?

Yoku koohi e nomimasuka? Do you drink coffee often?

Shyumi wa nan desuka? Hon o yomu koto desu. What are your hobbies? Reading.

And the most important phrase, said with a contrite expression: Sumimasen, wakarimasen. I'm sorry, I don't/can't understand. (This has yet to fail me, as long as you don't consider being laughed at a little a failure.)

But wait—it’s not enough to know the romaji (writing Japanese with the English alphabet). You have to write all that in hiragana (the “alphabet” of Japanese characters, each representing a syllable):

But wait—you can’t write foreign words that have been adopted into Japanese (like my name) with the hiragana “alphabet.” You have to use the katakana alphabet:

BUT WAIT—you can’t always use hiragana. Sometimes you need kanji, the complicated-looking characters borrowed from Chinese:

I don’t think we learn kanji, though. There are thousands of kanji and even native Japanese speakers struggle with kanji. Young people especially are not as apt at reading/writing kanji because of computers and cell phones. They can type the hiragana characters and the device will provide the kanji. (Doesn’t that social issue sound familiar?)

Today we went to a Buddhist temple for our Shinto/Buddhism class. The head priest lived in the U.S. for several years, so he was able to speak to us in English about Buddhism. He then performed a short prayer ritual. I thought it was a perfect snapshot of Japanese life—because as he was chanting and ringing a bell, jackhammers and power drills could also be heard from construction across the street. Once in a while you’d hear a siren, too. The juxtaposition of old and new, futuristic and traditional is what sparked my interest in Japan in the first place. On the subway, an elderly woman in a kimono can be sitting next to a fashionably dressed girl typing on her cell phone. There is never a shortage of things to see. Also, at least in our neighborhood, there are lots of trees and plants/gardens, which makes me very happy!

A few weekends ago we went on an organized trip to Karuizawa, which is about four hours outside of Tokyo.

View Larger Map

We stayed in a “seminar house” owned by our university. A bunch of Japanese students came with us, too. It was great to hang out with them, relax, and have free meals! The drive up was beautiful, and I couldn’t believe we drove for almost an hour without getting out of Tokyo itself! It’s so hard to comprehend how big this place is! Plus, even though the air is Tokyo is just fine, I loved the fresh mountain air! We drove through beautiful green mountains, and all of us were ooh-ing and ahh-ing and hopping from window to window to get pictures. It was foggy on the drive up…

 

…but clear on the way back! I've never seen landscapes anything like this before.

We also went to a volcanic park while we were there, which made me miss Hawaii.

And we also went to an ancient castle/park, a little zoo, and some neat waterfalls.

I was totally in love with this wall.

View from a lookout in the park.

Cheesin'.

I’ve experienced two earthquakes so far! The first was during Japanese class and wasn’t very strong. I’m sure the teacher thought we all looked pretty funny, staring up at her, speechless, like “Should we do something?” It only lasted 5-10 seconds, but it was unlike anything I’d felt before. The whole room was shaking. The earth itself was shaking. You take a solid earth for granted! The second earthquake woke me up around 2:30 a.m. Some people slept through it. It was quite frightening to wake up to. For one, it was stronger than the first one and lasted longer. The things on my bedside table and the lights were rattling and my bed was shaking. It took a few terrified seconds of “What? What? What’s happening?” before I realized what was going on.

Our “Life in Japan” class is taught by a woman named Sandra, who was born in America and married a Japanese man. She now lives here and teaches at Bunkyo. She is very loud and bubbly (very “un-Japanese,” you could say). For the final essay in her class, I have to write about whether or not I could live in Japan for the rest of my life. When she told us this prompt, it really intrigued me, and I think about it often. So far my answer is no, because of the food prices, missing my family and friends, city life, small houses, and the language. But I will definitely miss the subway, the food itself, and the general cultural atmosphere (the architecture, the people, the stores)…

Some other quick places I’ve gone:

• A cat café, where you pay ~$12 to play with cats for an hour!
• The Tokyo National Museum, to see tons of art.
• A sushi-go-round restaurant (kaitenzushi) where little plates of sushi go around on a conveyer belt and you grab the plates you want (usually 2 pieces on each plate). Each plate is only 100 yen! I go there a lot.
• 100 yen stores—just like dollar stores in America! They are great for buying things like hangers, Tupperware, storage containers…
• Shinjuku, Roppongi, and Harajuku, the busy/shopping districts that have the classic “Tokyo look,” with skyscrapers and huge, busy intersections.
• A preschool, where we play with the kids and feel awkward when we can’t talk to them. I make sandcastles with them.

In short, I’m having a blast. Don’t worry about me!

Big Update #1

I should probably start this post with an apology because that’s the Japanese way. I’m sorry I haven’t made an extensive update yet. I have been very busy, and when I’m not busy, I’m probably tired, and when I’m not busy or tired, the internet probably isn’t working. For such a modern and futuristic country, there is very little wifi in Japan, not to mention the bandwidth at our dorm is not sufficient for 20 college students all trying to stream video, Skype, update Facebook, and blog.

I have been in Japan for three weeks today. The only word that comes close to describing how it feels is surreal. At least once every day this strange shock hits me that I am not going home anytime soon. That this is my home. That I am really truly here. That for miles and miles around me is Tokyo, and these people around me are the only people I know. Lots of things can set this off, but most commonly airplanes do. I see them flying overhead at night, amidst only a handful of stars, and I realize one of those magic metal tubes brought me here. Just like they brought me to Hawaii or Florida, but this time it’s not bringing me back in a few days.

And I already know that when it’s time to leave, it will hurt even more than coming. Unless I do so through my own efforts and means, I will never come back to this place—and that makes me immeasurably sad. I think it’s good that I remember this every day. I can’t take anything for granted. And I won’t forget that when I go back to the U.S. either. Wherever and whenever you are—you can never return to that moment when it’s over. Now is all you get.

Since I’m on the topic of deeper lessons, I’ll share the other one I’ve learned. While I wouldn’t call myself timid, I usually get anxious when jumping into new situations where I don’t know what to do. Being in Tokyo has forced me into these situations every day, and every time you just figure it out. Like the subway, for instance (though it may be a bad example because it’s so logical and helpful and has lots of English). Or doing laundry. I carried my clothes into the laundry room and read the little English guide to the buttons, dumped my clothes in with some soap, and pressed start. Ordering at a restaurant, buying groceries, going for a run… I’ve stopped worrying so much about whether I know how to do something and just go do it. And if I can do that here, where I can’t even read the language, how easy will it be to that in the U.S.? Cake.

I love the food here, and my body seems to like it, too, which is a big relief. (I have rice cooking as I write this actually.) I eat lots of rice, curry, ramen, apples, eggs, toast… I cooked a “real meal” a few nights ago with sautéed carrots, mushrooms, and crab, served over rice. Yum! Fruits and vegetables are expensive here, so I have to remind myself to buy them, knowing it’s worth it. There are lots of cheap places to eat out, too, but it’s still not as cheap as eating at home. I also enjoy buying cheap bottles of wine and sake at the Seven Eleven down the street! They are really into Seven Elevens here. There are two less than a mile apart on our street. You can buy snacks, meals, all kinds of things there.

I am missing a few things I wish I would have brought: my prismacolor colored pencils, my external harddrive, my baby blanket, more hearty snacks (like cliff bars), pajama pants, an iHome, and a Thermos. Other than that I packed pretty well. I think compared to the other girls I brought a lot of clothes. Plus, I’ve already bought two dresses, 3 pairs of socks (knee socks!), and a white faux leather jacket. In the busier districts, like Harajuku, Shinjuku, Shibuya, where there’s lots of stores and things to do, the girls (and the guys!) dress so well. It’s intimidating and depressing. I love buying clothes! They make me feel happy. But I’ve told myself no more buying clothes this month. There are just so many things I want to do and experience, but a lot of them cost money. Especially “going out” things, like bars and restaurants.

Our study abroad trip is unique in that we interact with the Japanese students so much. They take classes with us and come over almost every day. They love to help us (re: laugh at us struggling) with our homework and take us to cool places. Not only that, also living in the dorm are six other international students: Petya and Chris are from Bulgaria, Şule is from Turkey, Ambika is from Nepal, and Nas and Ajam are from Malaysia. We get to know and become friends with not only the CSB/SJU students in our group, but all these other students as well. I think that’s pretty neat.

Day 2 (With Photos!)

Me and my host sister, Erina!

Nezu Shrine

Vending machines are everywhere!

Ueno Park

Day 1

My luggage and I made it to Tokyo in one piece. Yesterday was one of the longest days of my life, with getting up at 5 a.m., sneaking in a little sleep on the 787, and finally going to bed at 9:30 p.m. Tokyo time--which felt like 7:30 a.m. to me! My things are unpacked. The room is way bigger than I expected, so even with four of us in it, it's not too bad.

One of my roommates is a girl named Petya, who's not from our group. She's from Bulgaria. She gave us rose perfume as a gift! I wish I would have brought her something.

The plane ride here was not as bad as I expected. Mostly because the plane was so fancy! It had 3 sets of 3 seats. I was on the aisle of the left side, and a nice man (who was going to see his friend in Manila) had the window seat, with no one in between us. They served us meals and snacks, always had a tray of cups of water out, gave us blankets, pillows, playing cards. The lights adjusted appropriately. There were tons of free movies to watch on your personal screen, plus a map where you could see how far you had gone. I had a moment of dread when I checked it after waking up to see we were only halfway. 

Bunkyo students greeted us at the airport, and they were so eager and helpful. I changed my $8 into ¥694. Then I bought a "Match" drink from the vending machine that tasted like an energy drink. Yum! There are vending machines everywhere, and I guess I will have to start liking Coke products. Coke Zero, especially. They don't really have Diet Coke, apparently. Mom -- you'd love it here!

We then took a bus from the airport (kind of on the outside of Tokyo) to Bunkyo! The drive was amazing. There was so much to see: so many tall buildings, cool bridges, crazily-colored shops... The highways are built high-up, roof-level with some buildings, so that was strange. It was so futuristic, driving up in the air between buildings! Then we got onto the lower streets and got to see people and vending machines and vehicles and tons of cool things.

Our dorm is in a residential neighborhood, but with shops nearby, including a ¥100 shop -- just like a dollar store!

Today we are touring Bunkyo University and having some opening ceremonies. We start class Tuesday.

Saionara for now!

Fear, Failure, and Fun [T - 12 days]

12 days.

It's a unique number of days. Lost in that fog between two weeks and one, muddled up in the thinning swamp of double digits.

In two weeks, I will have been in Japan for two days. How will I feel then? What will I be doing?

Dumbledore told Harry, "It is the unknown we fear when we look upon death and darkness, nothing more." This couldn't be more true for Japan. Tokyo is one big Unknown. What do the classrooms look like? What will the habits and personalities of the people on my trip be? What's across the street from where I live? What is it like to sing karaoke? What foods are on the shelves in grocery stores? What's that strange-looking thing in my ramen?

I think fear of the unknown is closely related to fear of failure. We figure we're going to fail because, hey, it's something we've never done/seen/felt before.

But what would be a failure in Tokyo? If I get off at the wrong subway stop, is that a failure? If I think I'm buying x at the grocery store, but it turns out to be y, is that a failure? If I forget to pack something important, is that a failure? If I get sick of all my clothes, is that a failure?

We consider these things failures, when really they are just mistakes, embarrassing moments, learning opportunities, or mix-ups. They are not the end of the world. They do not ruin others' perceptions of us (at least, they shouldn't). They don't diminish all the hard work we put into each day. In fact, they are proof of that hard work. If I stayed in my dormitory for four months in Tokyo, I wouldn't experiences any "failures." I wouldn't experience anything at all.

As my swim coach told my fellow sprinter Kenzie and I when we started drowning in anxiety before our race, as my dad's first boss told him when his sales job caused him overwhelming stress:

Just go out there and have fun.

I can't speak for Kenzie, but I didn't receive that advice too willingly right away. It seemed petty and ridiculous to me. In my desperation and frustration, I said, "Screw it. Guess I'll try that stupid 'fun' thing." I dove off the blocks without caring about the race or the time. I just swam as fast as I could because it was fun to swim as fast as I could. And what do you know - we both swam close to our personal bests.

If I get on the subway or walk to class or go for a run in the park with the goal of having fun, I will be too busy seeing and hearing all the amazing things around me to worry about "failing." I'll be my happy sponge self, taking it all in, happy to be there.

次回まで.
Jikai made.